This morning in our sales meeting there was a discussion of the different generations of clients and how they communicate/engage with real estate. But it reminded me of something I started writing a year ago. So here we go: a New York Value about participation trophies, millennial homebuyers, and the future of NYC real estate/capitalism/etc. Enjoy?
The idea of participation trophies making us a weak, entitled and self-absorbed generation is false. And it’s played out as a talking point. What I will concede is that we were also the generation of some parents giving their children presents at OTHER children’s birthday parties, because it wouldn’t be fair for the birthday boy to be the center of attention. And that was insane, wrong, and worth pointing out as an issue. Growing up with parents who did that would mess up any child and turn him into a “special snowflake” entitled type (but guess what generation those parents were from — they weren’t millennials).
Participation trophies, though? I think those were solidly fine, again, unless a parent (*cough* a BOOMER *cough*) framed it incorrectly and told the child he deserved the world just for showing up. I was a kid who played four sports a year, and at the end of many seasons everyone got something for participating — not the same trophy as the league winner, but something small. And it didn’t turn me into an entitled brat. Instead it instilled in me the importance of showing up and being part of a greater whole, even if that whole didn’t end up winning the entire league.
(This does legitimately tie into millennial behavior around purchasing, including home buying, so bear with me just a little longer!)
Older generations progressively earned more than the generation prior, getting new opportunity, generally thriving, not saddled by student loans and the imminent collapse of our ecosystem and democracy (ayyyyyyyyy 2020!). And because this was the world they lived in, they believed that society was an even playing field where working super hard would get you to the top. “Winner take all” mentality was synonymous with the American dream. And they taught this to their children, the millennials.
But then things changed. These same people who had been afforded great social and economic mobility cut off the ladders they climbed, and we currently have the largest wealth gap in a century. My generation has come of age with rising global temperates, mortality rates, and costs of living while salaries and employee protections have decreased. Oh, and corporations have more rights than people. And our voices are ignored, with grievances dismissed due to our age. It has eroded trust in employers, the government, and financial institutions and turned us into a generation of renters, both by choice (see lack of trust) and because of financial instability (see student loans, increased living/healthcare costs, decreased salaries/401k’s/no more pensions).
I’m not a socialist, and although a substantial chunk of us are (and you really only have yourselves to blame here, Bezos and others who are clearly, definitely reading this), most of us just believe in what’s being called “compassionate capitalism.” Put simply, I don’t believe in a ceiling, but I do believe in a floor. Because it has become obvious what happens if everyone is fighting for the one championship trophy and no one else gets anything — we seek profits at any cost, and reward those who make the most money, regardless of how many people they hurt along the way. And when eventually the pendulum swings just as far the other direction, these same robber barons (they really are) will cry “boo hoo” and not recognize that if they just acted slightly less selfishly (like just pay taxes, not even crazy taxes, just pay your taxes) this wouldn’t have happened. It’s like the new rent laws that passed this year; they were the result of certain landlords abusing power and breaking the law without consequence, landlords now crying crocodile tears about how they’ll never earn money again and threatening to hurt tenants to get their way.
So let’s go back to participation trophies. These are basically a recognition that being part of a team and doing something for the group is inherently valuable. The message is only distorted when viewed through the lens of the INDIVIDUAL being the most important. But that was 100% never the message I got from a participation trophy, maybe because I was raised my whole life believing in social contract theory and the need for collaboration to survive as a species (damn, I love my family). I still tried to win, but losing wasn’t the worst thing in the entire world, and I wouldn’t cheat or hurt anyone in order to get to the top.
I would argue that this same idea of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts is part of Compass’s obsession with collaborating without ego. If we were a brokerage of individuals only looking out for ourselves, we wouldn’t have the culture we have and we wouldn’t attract other agents who want to be part of something I think is special. I certainly wouldn’t have the knowledge I have today, and I probably would be less open with sharing than I am. Being part of something bigger than yourself is good for you and helps build empathy and grow as a human being. No man is an island, but millennials seem to be the first generation to really recognize that.
I know this is kind of esoteric and all over the place, but I think many people misunderstand what’s going on with millennials. And I think this world view, of participation being inherently valuable and winner-take-all as a failed philosophy, is important to understand if you want to work with us in something like real estate. I don’t know that people in my generation will ever be interested in buying Michael Dell’s 200+ million dollar penthouse. Not because there’s anything wrong with us, but because only a very tiny fraction of us will ever get that level of wealth, and those who do probably don’t want to spend it all on one luxury apartment. And, for the record, most of those who could afford it will be people who grew up wealthy. 78% of my generation’s wealth is controlled by 10% of us, so maybe they already inherited a place and want to spend ALL their money on buying fancy cars/clothes/vacations so they can be an “influencer” (hey, I didn’t say my generation was perfect).
So maybe, just maybe, instead of making fun of us for our participation trophies, the developers complaining that no one will buy their product should champion causes that help us thrive (like healthcare) so more people can afford the apartments. Maybe instead of calling me a socialist fiscal conservatives could acknowledge that we could all pay lower tax rates if people stopped hiding their money (illegally) outside the US rather than paying their fair share. And maybe if we all focused on reducing TRULY wasteful government spending, we could fix the government instead of calling it inherently evil. Because, you know, we’re all participants in this thing called America and I, for one, would like a trophy. Ideally in the form of healthcare, because I haven’t been to the doctor since Thailand in 2017. (Do we think I’m dying?)
xo
Anna